Hello Blog

I got a text message from my friend Kay Baby the other day. It said something to the effect of:

"Ok Holland, it's that time again. If I can do you it you can do it. Go update your blog!"

I hadn't realized until that text how long it's been since I updated. Having that job really kicked my ass. Plus, I'm lazy.

So last week Tuesday I got a call from corporate at 3pm that as of 5pm I'd be finished with their company. Since this was only a temp job - and since work had been slowing down considerably - it wasn't totally unexpected. I didn't think they'd call at 3 and tell me I was done at 5, though. I figured I'd work until the end of the week and/or month.

This is both good and bad. As I'm sure you can imagine, the mortgage industry is a rather volatile place right now. When I first started working as a processor I really loved my job. It was fresh and intriguing, and, though it sounds trite, I felt like I was helping people. Being a homeowner really is the American Dream. But over the last few years the industry has changed. People who should be getting loans aren't, and those who probably shouldn't..well, it's just sad. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to spend a month working on a file, where the new loan would potentially save the client $400 a month, only to be told, "Sorry, we don't like it".

Needless to say, by the time I got the call from corporate, I was pretty much ready to go.

The bad news is that since I was employed through the temp agency, I may not qualify for unemployment. I was told I had to work a certain number of hours through the agency to qualify. I don't know if that's their rule or the state's. I was granted an extension on my previous UI claim, so I'm hoping I'll fall under the umbrella of that, instead of having to file a new claim.

The good news is that MM and I discussed it and we both agree taking a job I'm going to be miserable at - and make him miserable while I'm at it - isn't worth it. I'm really hoping my unemployment gets approved, but if it doesn't I think we may try to make my stay at home permanent. Things will be tight without my added income, but I really enjoyed staying home last time. It was great to be home for the kids and have time to volunteer at their school. MM loved that I was home (mostly I think b/c it got him out of doing housework) and has been complaining ever since I went back to work.

So while I'm checking job listings and polishing up my resume, I'm also reworking our budget to see how feasible it is for me to stay home. Right now the budget is kind of scary, but I think if we tighten down we'll be ok.

Also under the bad news label: The kids have gone to their dad's for the summer. I may have another rant about this later, but for now I'll just say I'm totally bummed that they're gone for the entire summer while I'm off work. Now would be the perfect time for us to hang out at the pool or go play outside or take an extended stay at the beach.

Still, I can't complain too much, since the RB generally only takes them for a week or two during the summer when he's supposed to have them all three months (or 2 I guess, but whatever). It's nice that he's finally spending extra time with them. They really need that time.

While I'm waiting to hear back from UI, I've been doing some cleaning around the house and trying to get caught up online. I really started neglecting my email and Google Reader when I started working, so I'm trying to get those cleaned up now. I also started attacking the kids' rooms. This is going to be a long-term project, I think. I hadn't realize how many too-small clothes and old, broken toys they still had. It's ridiculous.

I also started a new diet/exercise program yesterday. Just since February I've gained 11lbs, and that's not including the added weight I've put on since my wedding. Because I'm a petite person I don't carry extra weight well. I've been feeling less than pleased with my appearance, plus none of my clothes fit. I could deal with a little more sag or an extra pinch when I zip up, but honestly? It's much worse than that.

My birthday is right around the corner and Lord knows I'm not getting any younger. So I decided it's time to do something about it. Kay Baby and I decided to do a Weight Loss Challenge for the next 90 days. My problem is that I have issues with portion control and I love salty foods. I'm not much for sweets, but I could down an entire bag of Cheetos in one sitting.

My plan is to get back into a regular exercise routine (I've fallen off the wagon) and try to eat lighter/healthier for the summer. My weight loss goal is about 15lbs over 3 months, which is pretty reasonable, I think. 15lbs isn't really all I need to lose, but it would go a long way toward getting me where I used to be.

I registered on the Live Strong website and plan to utilize the My Plate tool. My brother told me about it. It's a great place where you can track what you eat. The best part about it is that if you put in your basic body type: height, weight and age and enter your weight loss goal, it will calculate what your total calorie intake for the day should be.

If I want to lose 2lbs a week, my intake should be around 1280 a day. That seems kind of not very much, so I'm going to try it to start with and see how it goes. If I just can't limit myself that much to start with, I'll readjust. As a bonus, they have a Blackberry App, so I can keep track of what I'm eating on my mobile. Woot!

Anyway, that's about all the news I've got for today. Now that I'm home and have more free time I should be able to update more often. But I'm not making any promises.

A Letter To Google

Dear Google,

For several months now both my husband and myself have been addicted to the Fail Blog. I subscribe to it in my Google Reader and email him the funniest Fail pictures and/or videos. Then we laugh together over them when he checks his email (which is only about once or twice a week). See, good family fun. Not to mention cheap entertainment.

But today, for the 2nd time in about a month, you banned me from my Reader with the following error message:

We're sorry...

... but your query looks similar to automated requests from a computer virus or spyware application. To protect our users, we can't process your request right now.

We'll restore your access as quickly as possible, so try again soon. In the meantime, if you suspect that your computer or network has been infected, you might want to run a virus checker or spyware remover to make sure that your systems are free of viruses and other spurious software.

If you're continually receiving this error, you may be able to resolve the problem by deleting your Google cookie and revisiting Google. For browser-specific instructions, please consult your browser's online support center.

If your entire network is affected, more information is available in the Google Web Search Help Center.

We apologize for the inconvenience, and hope we'll see you again on Google.

Well you know what, Google, I'm sorry too. Sorry you think emailing my husband posts from my Reader is suspicious activity. Sorry you felt the need to ban me from my own account. I'm especially sorry that you've seen fit to do this several times.

I understand the need for security. I also understand your stance on spammers. But I.AM.NOT.ONE.

STOP BLOCKING ME FROM MY OWN ACCOUNT!

Summertime

MM and I own a total of four vehicles. I drive a Toyota 4Runner, MM has a Jeep Wrangler, he has an Acura Integra he uses for commuting and he owns a motorcycle. Yes, this is probably somewhat overindulgent, but the Jeep and Acura are over ten years old (ok, more like over 15) and the motorcycle is something MM bought before we were together.

The reason I bring it up is because the Acura recently started having major problems and it turns out it needs a new engine. Since MM uses it to commute (he drives 50mi one way to work) it gets a lot of miles every month. We've been debating whether or not to buy a new car (a Toyota Yaris or Prius or something) for him to use to commute, or to just put a new engine in this one. A new engine will only cost us about $2000, but the car is hardly worth that.

We have a friend looking for an engine for us, so in the meantime MM has been driving the Jeep to work. But lately the Jeep's air conditioner hasn't been working all that well. I think it's just getting old and it can't keep up with the heat (it's been 100+ almost every day). Since MM has to be in the car a lot longer than I do, I told him we should just trade cars until we figure out what we're going to do about the Acura.

My commute is only about 20 minutes, but when it's 90-100 degrees outside that can seem like an awfully long time without an air conditioner. So I told him to take the top off the Jeep (it's a hard-top). I figured it'll keep me cool on my drive and since it doesn't get as hot here as it does where MM works, I'll be fine. And I have been. The commute is easy and once I bought a good hat to protect my hair and keep the sun out of my eyes all has been well.

So now that you know more about our personal driving situations than you ever wanted, I'll get to the point of the post...

Driving the Jeep without the top has really brought me back to my teen years. I grew up in the Black Hills of South Dakota (Sturgis, anyone?). Being surrounded by beautiful hills and amazing canyons was something I really took for granted until I moved to the desert. Although the desert has it's own type of beauty, it's stark. Not at all the same thing.

Lately I've really been getting homesick. Especially as the temps rise and summer starts rolling in. As a teenager I used to spend all my extra time at the lake. We had two lakes within a half-hour of my hometown. One is a small lake with a few houses scattered around it and a camping area surrounded by national forest. We used to spend days out there swimming and lazing on the beach in the sun. There's nothing so beautiful as a calm lake on a hot summer day.

The other lake is a huge one where we used to go boating/jet-skiiing. We did a lot of camping out there. There wasn't a lot of beach space, but we didn't care since we spent most of our time out on the lake in a boat, water-skiing and jet-skiing. We always went out there on the 4th of July to watch the fireworks, sometimes from the shore, sometimes from on the lake.

As you can imagine there are a shortage of lakes here in the desert. Although we have options, they're 2+ hours away. You'd think living that close to the ocean would cancel out the disappointment of not having a lake close by, but the truth is it's just too damn hard to get down there. With baseball and work and various other aspects of life always going on, it's impossible to spend a day at the beach when you're talking about 4+ hours of travel time.

When I left SD, I left without regrets. Since I've been in CA for my quality of life has become so much better. I met MM here and we're happily making our life here. But sometimes..well, sometimes I get homesick. Feeling the warm wind across my skin as I drive to work brings me back to the warm days at the lake with my friends and I miss it. I miss the smell of pine trees and the feel of cool water on my overheated body. I miss wading into the creek and the tire rope and..well, I just miss home. I don't have the desire to live there again, but I wouldn't mind spending summers there.




Isn't it funny how the smallest things can trigger the best memories sometimes?

So tell me, what are some of your favorite summertime memories?

Mother's Day

First, Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there. I hope you all had an amazing day.

I had a good day. I got up around 8:30 and finished reading the book I started a couple days ago. Then I relaxed on the couch for the rest of the morning. MM and the kids all got me cards. TG made me one at school, plus all three bought me one. I asked for two things for Mother's Day and got them both.

First, I asked that MM give the dogs a bath - especially Bella. I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but his dogs pee on her. I guess as males they feel the need to mark their territory. She, naturally, is the territory they feel the need to mark. Daily. So, as I'm sure you can imagine, after a week or so she really starts to smell. Horribly bad. We've been trying to correct the behavior, but since we're both gone during the day - the time she mostly gets peed on - we haven't had much success yet.

Second, I asked for a squeegee. My sister said today, "You're like the only person I know who would ask for cleaning supplies as a gift and then actually be happy to receive them." She's so right, too. I know it's not the most romantic gift in the world, but it's what I really wanted. Since we live in the middle of the desert and our backyard is dirt, our windows are always nasty. Having the squeegee will really help me keep them clean. As an added bonus, Little Man cleaned all the windows for me today. Wasn't that sweet? (We'll totally pretend like I didn't ask him and he volunteered all on his own, ok?)

We spent the afternoon at my mom's house. She put together a nice little bbq spread. MM handled the grill and we mostly just relaxed. My grandma, aunt and sister were also there. It was great spending time with them. Well, ok. If I'm being totally honest I mostly hid with my book. I couldn't help it! It was a really good book.

I'm kind of sad that the weekend is over already. We ran errands yesterday so I didn't get as much housework done as I'd have liked. We'll be busy running all week, so who knows when all of it will get done. I seem to be falling farther and farther behind! I hate that feeling.

Little Man has a baseball game tomorrow at 5:30 and MM has a softball game at 9. Unfortunately they're in two different towns, MM's about 40 minutes away. I'm kind of bummed, but I think I'm going to have to skip MM's. It's his first one, and I'd love to go watch, but we wouldn't get home until close to midnight and I just can't keep the kids out that late. Hopefully I won't have to miss the next one.

The rest of the week we'll be busy with baseball stuff and work. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to be a single working mom! I'm totally exhausted after just a couple weeks back to work, and that's with MM to help pick up the slack. I guess things will settle down more after baseball season, but in the meantime I doubt I'll be around much.

I hope all of you have a great week!

A Note To My Husband

Dear MM:

The fact that you can say, in all seriousness, that we should go on a country-wide road trip a month after I have your "bebe" is just one of the many reasons I'm still on Birth Control. I just have two words for you:

Sixteen Stitches

Just sayin'.

Your Loving Wife,

Holland

Work, Work, Work..

As I'm sure you've figured out by now, I did indeed take the job. MM and I talked it over and decided that I would take it on a temporary basis. So I started a week ago last Friday. It's been hard getting back into a working routine. For almost seven months I had a totally different schedule. Having to rush to pick up the kids and get to baseball has been..interesting. It feels so strange now to think I did this for years - and without help.

MM has been on vacation this week so he's been taking care of dinner each night and picking up the slack with the kids. It's going to be even harder this week since he's going back to work tomorrow. I think once we get back into a routine we'll be ok, but in the meantime things are pretty hectic.

I also still have team mom and PTA duties, so juggling those is pretty hard, too. So far I haven't had to do anything with the PTA, but we have big events coming up that I'm supposed to take part in. I think for now I'm going to pull back from that. I feel bad for committing myself and then backing out, but it makes sense since I can't attend any of the meetings or events. I may still take on some of the online work, but it will depend on how things go at home. I don't want to stretch myself too thin.

As for the actual job, well..it's a job. I really didn't want to go back into this field. The mortgage industry is very volatile right now. Although I'm knowledgeable and feel like I can contribute something to this company, my heart really isn't in it. Because it's only supposed to last a few months I feel fine where I'm at. If it turns into a permanent position I don't know that I'll accept. In the meantime I'm just plugging away.

The first few days I did nothing but busy work since my computer hadn't arrived yet. Since last week Tuesday I've been kept really busy. I spent a couple days in training to brush up on some programs and now I'm getting down to the actual work. It feels good to be using my brain again, I'll admit. Not enough to make me want to do this permanently, though.

My online access is limited at work. Although I have free reign I've been encouraged to not spend a lot of personal time on the computer there. That means I'm really behind in my blog-hopping and email-returning. I miss all of you!

Anyway, that's all I've got for now. Hopefully as I get settled in I'll be around more. Or so I hope.

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates..

Life is strange sometimes. Take, for example, the fact that I haven't had a job for 7 months and yet I can never find time to write blog posts. Funny things happen all the time (mostly because MM is..special /snicker) and I think, "I so need to blog that!" and then life happens and I don't get around to it.

Also funny? Just a couple weeks ago MM and I had a discussion about my lack of prospects in the job market and decided I should probably just resign myself to becoming a permanent stay at home mom. To be honest, I've become quite comfortable at home. I love that I'm able to keep better track of The Girl's progress at school and attend all of Little Man's baseball games/practices. I love that MM and I get one day alone a week together because he's off on Mondays and the kids are at school. I love that I have free time during the day to read, play with the dogs or watch t.v.

Of course there are drawbacks, too. The kids think I'm their personal slave (ehem, and so does MM) and live only to do their bidding. Not to mention..well, it's kind of boring - and lonely - being home all by myself all day. I can only spend so much time talking to the dogs before I'm considered "crazy" rather than "cute" or "eccentric". Ya know?

So why is all that funny? Because we'd decided that I should probably just give up the ghost and make this a permanent gig, so I signed up to be LM's team mom for baseball and volunteered myself to be a fully active member of the PTA (OMG, I'm so one of THOSE moms now, yikes!) and signed TG up for another session of cheerleading.

Then, totally out of the blue, I got a call asking if I'd be interested in a job in my old field. A former co-worker heard about a job opening and mentioned my name. I've been sending out 50 resumes a week for 6 straight months and haven't gotten one.single.call, but a week after I decide to make my stay at home permanent, a job all but falls in my lap. Nice.

MM and I decided I'd check out the job prospect and see what it was about, then we'd make a decision. So on Monday I went in for a job interview that wasn't really a job interview. Turns out the job is sourced through a temp agency. I went to their office expecting to do a formal interview and come away needing to make a decision about whether or not I wanted to take the job (depending on how the interview went, of course).

The problem? They thought I wanted the job and was only going into the office to fill out paperwork and begin the background investigation so I could begin employment. Basically we were coming at the same issue from two different places and..long story short, I have job. Starting tomorrow! Yes, tomorrow! On Friday!! OMGWTF?!?!?!

As I'm sure you can imagine, I'm completely unprepared for this. I wasn't interested in this job, didn't even know what it was, in fact, until this morning when I was officially offered the position. Basically I am now employed through the temp agency and my first job through them is as a loan processor. The position should last between 2 and 4 months and the pay is pretty good.

But..yikes. It all happened so fast!

On the one hand I'm glad it's a temp position, because that means if it's awful I only have to stick it out for a short time. On the other, I'll find myself back in this same position a few months from now. Unemployed and unsure of what to do with my future. Of course this could give us the boost we need to make my staying home permanent. Not only that, but I'll be giving up a lot in regards to the kids. I love that I'm able to take them to practices and visit with TG's teacher whenever I need to, plus we have more quality time together. I'm going to lose all that by going back to work.

Obviously I'm torn. MM would prefer that I stay home, but he'll be supportive if I decide to take the job (er..didn't I already kind of agree to take it?). So that's good. But..I just don't know what to do. My Catholic guilt (never mind that I haven't been Catholic for more than a decade) has already kicked in and I feel like I have to take the job now. Especially because it pays well.

*sigh*

Plus, taking the job also means giving up my online play time during the day. No more spending my days Twittering or taking random quizzes on Facebook. Now I'll have to be a productive member of society again. Sad, right?

I know, I know. Everyone should have such problems, right? Still, I have to consider these things.

So, now that you know what's currently up with me, tell me, what's currently up with you?

Google Reader recently decided I was showing suspicious, spam like activity and locked me out of my account, so I haven't read many of your more recent blog posts (sorry!), so even if you blogged about it I probably didn't see.

Tell me what's new with you....